The Qualms of Communication Essay -- miscellaneous

The Qualms of Communication "He never talks to me!" That phrase is the most common complaint that women have about men. The communication process between men and women has long been an interest for many people. The way we speak and why we speak that way have prompted diverse opinions from various authors over the years. Deborah Tannen is one such author. Tannen, who has a doctorate in linguistics, is a professor at Georgetown University. She has been studying the way people communicate and the problems they have communicating with each other for many years. Her studies inspired her to write several books on the subject. The excerpt â€Å"Put Down That Paper and Talk To Me,† which appears in the textbook Writing the World, was taken from her best-seller You Just Don’t Understand: Women and Men in Conversation, written in 1991. Deborah Tannen believes men and women talk differently because they are raised in two different conversational cultures and that problems arise because of conversational styl e. She thinks that boys are taught to speak like men and girls taught to talk like women. In the essay Tannen addresses many of the misgivings of communication, based upon her numerous studies, that she believes proves men and women really are taught to talk a certain way. Deborah Tannen has been studying how people communicate with each other and she believes it starts at a very early age. Starting when we are very young, we communicate very differently. On a television show titled â€Å"She Said, He Said,† Tannen showed some video recording on a study of hers that had two same-sex children enter a room and sit and talk to each other. She performed this same study on varying ages of children from 5 to 16 and in every case the results were the same. She found that the boys would sit side by side and would speak almost distractedly, while looking about the room. The girls would enter the room, place their chairs facing each other, and would speak looking directly at each other. To Tannen, this study showed how males do not talk with much intimacy. Their relationships are held together by performing activities in a group, such as sports or politics. She believes men speak when they feel a need to impress or if their social status is in question. T he females however, spoke with much more closeness. Tannen says, â€Å"For females, talk is the glue that holds their relationships... ...them control power, wealth, and social resources because men think that women do not want them. Another one of Tannen’s critics, Senta Troemel-Ploetz, accuses Deborah Tannen of ignoring the possibility that men and women communicate differently because of differences of power. Troemel-Ploetz contends that the problem goes beyond conversational style. She believes that Tannen completely misses the power-struggle between the two sexes in the ways that they speak. She believes that society is giving men too much power in speaking and essentially how people are leading their lives. Tannen’s advice on how to solve communication problems is mainly just to understand the differences in the way we speak. Tannen says, â€Å"Many men honestly do not know what women want, and women honestly do not know why men find what they want so hard to comprehend and deliver.† Men and women are different so naturally we will behave and talk differently. Since we start communicating at a young age Tannen believes we are raised to speak in separate worlds by a combination of cultural and biological influences, and if we can better understand our differences, we can solve many of the qualms of communication.

Bibliography of Abraham Maslow

The Life of Abraham Maslow Psy 401 March 21, 2013 General Biography Abraham Maslow was born on April 1, 1908 in Brooklyn, New York. His parents were Jewish immigrants from Russia and he was the oldest of seven siblings. His father was a hardcore drinker of whiskey, loved women, and would often pick fights with other people. He did not like his father, yet over the years he learned to deal with him in a peaceful manner. On the other hand, Abraham Maslow had complete hatred for his mother throughout his whole life.As he grew older, he did not have any sympathy or love for her. It was so bad that when she passed away he did not attend her funeral. He described his mother as a heartless, uneducated, ignorant, and aggressive individual. She did not show any sympathy towards her children and would sometimes drive them crazy. His anger towards his mother inspired his pursuit and career in humanistic psychology (Hergenhahn, 2005, p. 584). He attended Boys High School and continued his educat ion at the City College of New York. There, he fulfilled his father’s wishes to pursue law school.After attending law school and being dissatisfied with the direction of his education, he decided to transfer to Cornell University where he was taught introductory psychology by Edward Titchner. He was not inspired by Titchner’s approach to psychology and decided to transfer back to City College after one semester. He also had the desire to be near his cousin Bertha Goodman, as they were very close. Maslow and Bertha attended the University of Wisconsin together. When he turned 20, he married Bertha, who was 19, despite the fact that she was his first cousin.In Maslow’s eyes, his life had officially begun in Wisconsin (Hergenhahn, 2005, p. 586). Maslow earned his bachelor’s degree in 1930, his master’s in 1931, and his doctorate in 1934. He became the first doctoral student of Harry Harlow, who was a well known experimental psychologist. Maslow taught at Wisconsin before he moved to Columbia University. There, he became a research assistant for Edward Thorndike. In 1951, Maslow took the offer as chairman of the psychology department at Brandeis University in Waltham, Massachusetts.This was where he made his mark and became the leader in third force psychology. In 1968, Maslow accepted another attractive offer by the Sega Administrative Corporation, located on Stanford University. The reason for accepting this offer was due to dissatisfaction towards his academic life and weakening health. This gave him the opportunity to think and write freely as he pleased. The life of Abraham Maslow ended on June 8, 1970, which resulted from a heart attack at 62 years old (Hergenhahn, 2005, p. 589). Historical Context During the 1960s, the United States was going through tough times.They were fighting in the Vietnam War, which was unpopular among the American citizens (Hergenhahn, 2005, p. 570). A few very important figures were assassinated d uring their peak hours, which caused some instability among the citizens. These figures included Martin Luther king was assassinated by James Ray (mlk-kpp01. stanford. edu) and John F. Kennedy was assassinated by Lee Oswald (crdl. usg. edu). As a result, racial protests broke out among some major cities, which quickly turned violent. Hippies were also growing in popularity as they openly rebelled against others.Evidently, this was not a time period where rational philosophy or empirical philosophy was appealing (Hergenhahn, 2005, p. 571). The schools of structuralism, functionalism, Gestalt psychology, behaviorism, and psychoanalysis existed during the 1920s and 1930s. However, by the 1950s, the school of structuralism had faded away, and the schools of functionalism and Gestalt psychology merged into other schools of psychology. Only behaviorism and psychoanalysis persisted as significant, complete schools of psychology during the 1950s and 1960s.During the tough times mentioned ea rlier, many viewed the knowledge given by behaviorism and psychoanalysis as insufficient and/or inaccurate. A new viewpoint of psychology was desired, where it stressed on the human spirit, as well as the mind and the body. Behaviorism and psychoanalysis had many issues in their explanation of humans. One of the issues with behaviorism was that it equated humans as being similar to that of robots, animals, or computers. It did not see anything unique about humans.The major issue with psychoanalysis was that it focused on people with unusual emotional behavior and sought to develop methods to help abnormal people become normal (Hergenhahn, 2005, p. 574). The previous schools of psychology, according to third force psychology, lacked information that would assist healthy humans become healthier, eventually achieving their full potential. A new model was needed that focused on the positive traits rather than the negative traits of humans. As a result, third-force psychologists made an effort to provide this type of model.This effort began in the 1930s and 1940s when Abraham Maslow met with outstanding European psychologists (who escaped from the Nazis) in the U. S. These exceptional psychologists included Erick Fromm, Max Wertheimer, Karen Horney, and Alfred Adler. As a result, a new wave of movement, known as third-force psychology, was led by Abraham Maslow in the early 1960s. This new wave of movement was known as third-force psychology. It occurred in the early 1960s and was led by Abraham Maslow (Hergenhahn, 2005, p. 576). Important AchievementsAbraham Maslow was most accountable for making humanistic psychology an established branch of psychology. With much effort put in by Maslow, he later founded the Journal of Humanistic Psychology in 1961. In addition, the American Association of Humanistic Psychologists was developed in 1961 and a division of American Psychological Association (APA), Humanistic Psychology, was established in 1971 (Hergenhahn, 2005, p. 586). One of Maslow’s greatest contributions was the hierarchy of needs. It gave us a better understanding of human motivation (www. bs. org). The hierarchy of needs, as Maslow described, arranged the needs of humans in a hierarchy. The needs further down in the hierarchy were more basic and similar to the needs of animals. The needs were arranged so that one has to fulfill the lower needs first in order to move onto the higher needs that follow. For instance, when the most basic needs, which were the physiological needs (such as thirst and hunger), were satisfied, a person may then move onto the safety needs (protection from danger or pain).When the safety needs were fulfilled, a person may then continue onto the love needs (to give love and receive love). After the love/belonging needs were satisfied, a person may then continue onto fulfilling the esteem needs (to be recognized, respected, confident, etc. ) Once a person satisfied the needs up until the esteem needs, then a person may pursue to become self-actualized. Maslow described this as the human’s ability to reach their full potential. Some examples he gave were musicians’ ability to make music, the artists’ ability to paint, and the poets’ ability to write.Maslow further described self-actualization as the individual’s ability to reach their potential (it is subjective). In addition, he thought that it was impossible for any human to reach their fullest potential, but were still capable of achieving self-actualization if they fulfilled the hierarchical needs (Hergenhahn, 2005, p. 587). To further enhance his theory, Maslow interviewed a number of individuals he thought had reached self-actualization. These individuals were Albert Einstein, Sigmund Freud, Albert Schweitzer, William James, Jane Addams, and Abraham Lincoln.He came to the conclusion of certain characteristics that self-actualized people obtained: their perception of the world was accurate and com plete; they were very much satisfied with themselves and of others; they underwent indigenous and naturalness; they were private and independent of their surroundings; they were grateful; they experienced peak moments described as extraordinary visions, feelings of ecstasy, and powerfulness, yet weakness as well; they were concerned with the human race in general as opposed to only their family, relatives, and friends; and they had a sense of creativity (Hergenhahn, 2005, p. 87). Historical Impact In the early 1960s, a new wave of movement, led by Abraham Maslow, was known as third-force psychology (referred to as humanistic psychology). As a result, a paradigm shift had taken place. Abraham Maslow was most accountable for making humanistic psychology an established branch of psychology. This achievement had such a strong influence in psychology because the previous schools of psychology, according to third force psychology, lacked information that would assist healthy humans become healthier, eventually achieving their full potential.The new model of humanistic psychology focused on the positive traits rather than the negative traits of humans. (Hergenhahn, 2005, p. 576). With much effort put in by Maslow, he later founded the Journal of Humanistic Psychology in 1961. In addition, the American Association of Humanistic Psychologists was developed in 1961 and a division of American Psychological Association (APA), Humanistic Psychology, was established in 1971 (Hergenhahn, 2005, p. 586) One of Maslow’s greatest contributions was the hierarchy of needs. It gave us a better understanding of human motivation (www. dpsycinteractive. org). He described the human needs in the form of a hierarchy. As you go down the hierarchy, the needs became more basic, physiological, and similar to the characteristics of animals. As you go higher in the hierarchy, the needs were focused more on growth. Eventually, after all the prior stages were satisfied, one may reach the last stage of self-actualization. He described self-actualization as the individual’s ability to reach their potential. In addition, Maslow made important contributions to the area of human sexuality.Towards the end of Maslow’s life, he began to formulate new ideas in psychology known as transpersonal psychology. Maslow’s findings also influenced areas outside of psychology such as in business, marketing, medicine, education, etc. (Hergenhahn, 2005, p. 589). Abraham Maslow’s work continues to be influential in contemporary psychology. References Abraham Maslow. (n. d. ). In Public Broadcasting Service (PBS) online. Retrieved from http://www. pbs. org/wgbh/aso/databank/entries/bhmasl. html Assassination of Martin Luther King, Jr. (n. d. ). In Stanford’s Encyclopedia online. Retrievedfrom http://mlk kpp01. stanford. du/index. php/encyclopedia/encyclopedia/enc_kings_assassination_4_apr il_1968/ Hergenhahn, B. R. (2005). Humanistic (Third-Force) Psych ology. An Introduction to the Historyof Psychology (Edition 6th, pp. 570-590). California: Wadsworth. Huitt, W. (2007). Maslow’s hierarchy of needs. Educational Psychology Interactive. Retrieved from http://www. edpsycinteractive. org/topics/conation/maslow. html. Valdosta, GA: Valdosta State University. John F. Kennedy’s assassination. (2013). In Civil Rights Digital Library online. Retrieved from http://crdl. usg. edu/events/jfk_assassination/? Welcome

Tips for Expressing Sympathy

Unfortunately, bad things happen. When we hear about these events happening to people we care about, expressing our sympathy can go a long way. Doing so is often difficult as we want to communicate  our concern but dont want to be intrusive or offensive. With these tips and your sincere sentiments, your words of comfort are likely to be meaningful to the person in your life who is having a tough time. Structuring Common Phrases of Sympathy in English Here are some common phrases to help you express sympathy. Im sorry to hear about Noun/Gerund   Im sorry to hear about your difficulties with the boss. I know he can be really difficult at times.Ellen just told me the news. Im sorry to hear about your not getting into Harvard! Please accept my condolences.   This phrase is used to express sympathy when someone has died. Please accept my condolences. Your father was a great man.Im sorry to hear of your loss. Please accept my condolences. Thats so sad. Thats so sad that you lost your job.Thats so sad that he doesnt love you anymore.  I hope things get better soon. This phrase is used when people have been having difficulty over a long period  of time. I know your life has been difficult lately. I hope things get better soon.I cant believe how much bad luck youve had. I hope things get better soon. I hope you feel better soon. This phrase is used when someone is experiencing health problems. Im so sorry you broke your leg. I hope you feel better soon.ï » ¿Stay home for the week. I hope you feel better soon.   Example Dialogue Expressing sympathy is used in a number of situations. For example, you might express sympathy for someone whose family member has passed away. Generally,  we express sympathy to someone who has difficulties of some sort.  Here are some example dialogues to help you learn when to express sympathy in English. Person 1:  Ive been rather sick lately.Person 2:  I hope you feel better soon. Another Example Person 1:  Tim has been having a lot of troubles lately. I think he might be getting a divorce.Person 2:  Im sorry to hear about Tims problems. I hope things get better for him soon. Writing Sympathy Notes Its also common to express sympathy in writing. Here are some common phrases you can use when writing a sympathy note to someone. Notice that it is common to use the plural we and our when expressing written sympathy as a way to express that a family. Finally, its important to keep a sympathy note short. My heartfelt condolences on your loss.Our thoughts are with you.She/he was a lot of things to many people and will be missed tremendously.I am thinking of you in your time of loss.We are very saddened to hear of your loss. With deepest sympathies.You have my sincere sympathy.You have our deepest sympathy. Example Sympathy Note Dear John, I heard recently that your mother passed away. She was such a wonderful woman. Please accept my heartfelt condolences on your loss. You have our deepest sympathy. Warm regards, Ken